Sun & Moon: Chapter Fifteen

Magnificent open space it was. The large spectacular white pale Viva La Vida graffiti like design against the dark red background was placed tactically at the back of the arena podium. All the equipment you could see was placed in an orderly tidy fashion. The typical order of drums at the back, the bass and electric guitar to the left and center, the grand piano to the right and all the other gritty details was impeccable. The multi colored rainbow lighting seemed to invite more crowds to join the open venue concert. Sanaa was mesmerized as she saw the number of crowds making their way in. She felt the butterflies fluttering in her stomach as she realized was up front and center. She felt a happy fretfulness as she established that in a few minutes, her eyes would meet with Jonny Buckland, Will Champion, Guy Berryman and her idol; the front lead Chris Martin. She was excited as she jumped in, delight and joy, up and down. Bastiaan taken with her surprise movements followed in and jumped with her ‘Wohooo COLDPLAY’ he shouted it out for it to be welcomed with applause. Sanaa snorted out laughing; her casual not heard every day laugh. She shocked herself for a moment as she grunted and continued laughing she knew there was no other way to describe her sentiment. She chose to embrace what the ivory sign in front of her said; Viva La Vida, to live life. She was letting loose, allowing Bastiaan to see her for who she really was; without any hidden buried past, veiled laughs and secret cries. This was Sanaa all bare and willing to share.  Bastiaan chuckled finding her snort endearing and adorable. ‘WOHOOO’ she screamed as she clapped the hardest she could. ‘OMG I can’t believe I’m here’ she heard him echo her screams as the band took centre stage settling in and adorning their instruments. Excited and hyper, Sanaa paused for a moment as she felt her heart beat drumming to the soft test beats. She stopped moving and looked around her. For the first time, she felt part of a greater picture; she smiled as she appreciated the one beside her, the weather and the entire atmosphere and ambiance around her.

Hours Later…

Hands were in the air, people were singing along, couples held hands and put their arms around each other; everyone swayed to the music. The atmosphere was electrifying as the organ began playing the notes to ‘Lost!’. He could see how genuinely happy she was leaving all her worries behind. Her hands moving to the beat as she giggled from happiness. It was her very first concert and it proved that it would be an unforgettable one.

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt

The lyrics were speaking to her, it was striking a chord. She was lost; she was getting herself to how she once upon a time was, the old vulnerable weak Sanaa. Would those spine-chilling feelings creep back and linger even more? Would she be stronger and fight or just grow weaker? She zoned out as she drowned in her own thoughts, questioning those dreadful What If questions in her head. She knew she had to; things would never be the same again.

He noticed how, with the song coming towards the end, she grew more quiet, passive and stiff. He felt her thoughts cramming her head. He knew what it would do to her if she continues letting herself wonder on the unimaginable. He long ago went through the same turmoil. He remembered how he let his life slip from his hands and fall into the control of what his emotions told him to. He recalled the sleepless lonely nights he faced as he tried to overcome and overturn his life to a more fruitful one.  The tempo changed and so did the audience’s excitement.

There ghost towns in the ocean singing la la la

The electric guitar started playing in harmony with the drum and bass, Bastiaan felt uplifted and began to set free, singing and turning in circles. The vibe was thrilling, emotional and exciting. He looked at the sky above as he was bewildered with the beauty of the night sky; grey clouds hovering covering the moonlight, the rays of the spotlights from the podium made its way mixing in a blend of gripping colors. It was so amazing; he felt he had to share. Poking Sanaa he pointed to the sky and told her loudly that she had to get enchanted with what’s up above. She glanced up above and the mystifying sky made her grin widely. ‘It’s beautiful’ she said it but in a forced manner. He came even closer to her as he put his arm around her bringing her to closer to him. He turned to look into her bright eyes and whispered the words that made him conquer all those fears he once had. He was positive it would do the same affect to her. ‘I've been beaten, hurt, and lost, but I'm not defeated. I'm not all gone’ he said it loudly into her ear.  It was the warm blanket she needed, the plaster on a wounded finger, the tweezers to a splinter and the comfort food to a sad heart. His words were exactly what she had to hear. She had to move on and throw away her worries. She had to learn and grow into what was more colorful and vivid.  She breathed out a sigh of relief as she rested her forehead against his and repeated it loudly; their voices meeting each other’s ears. ‘I've been beaten, hurt, and lost, but I'm not defeated. I'm not all gone’. She repeated it once more as her voice went a pitch higher ‘I've been beaten, hurt, and lost, but I'm not defeated. I'm not all gone’. She exhaled as a sense of release carried her away along with a familiar tune. Growing more eager, she turned her attention to the band in front of her as she started singing the song she couldn’t wait to hear.

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word

Viva La Vida was taking her to heights she never expected she could reach. She felt as strong as a king, as tall as a giant and as happy as a clam. Pumped, revived, appreciating life was a few of the emotions she sensed within. As the violins against the chorus began dramatically taking its place in the middle of the song, Sanaa took in the fresh exhilarating air as she sensed his warm hand reaching out to hers. He clenched her hand tight as his heart began to thump. He was nervous to make the first move. Sanaa stunned at his bold move couldn’t help but to have a bashful shy look as she looked into his deep storytelling eyes.  ‘Your hand was meant to be in mine’ he said it all in one go, afraid that he might stutter. She smiled as she looked down and kicking her feet against the hard surface. She scolded herself on how coy she was becoming as he pulled her hands so that her shoulder met his. 

Hours Later…

The audience became quiet as the tempo was slow. The last song of the night played as he gripped her hand tighter. He knew it was time. Clearing his throat, he heard Chris Martin sing the first verse of Death and All His Friends; the song he was waiting for, ever since he purchased the tickets. It was the grand finale and he had to end the evening right.

All winter, we got carried 
Oh way over on the rooftops, let's get married. 
All summer we just hurried 
so come over, just be patient, and don't worry.

He tried to speak but his nerves were overtaking his emotions. He cleared his throat and turned to face her. Sanaa sensed a tug and a sudden abrupt shift; he let go of her hand and she wondered why. She faced him and asked what’s wrong with using hand gestures. He smiled at her and she smiled back. The rhythm of the song was uplifting as the tempo increased. Sanaa was lost in the tunes, rhythm and music. She started to stomp her feet and abruptly started raising her hands like everyone around and signing along; lost in music once again.

No I don't wanna battle from beginning to end; 
I don't wanna cycle, or recycle revenge; 
I don't wanna follow death and all his friends. 

The song came to a halt and he couldn’t express what he wanted to say. He stood there without a word or sound. He then heard the phrase that pushed him to move, to speak, to make a sound, ‘Thank you all so much’, the concert was concluded as Coldplay’s band members gathered together for a final standing ovation and bidding thankful bow. Bastiaan couldn’t handle his dim-wittedness any longer. He tried to recall the long poem he tried to memorize for days only he couldn’t. He tried harder as his eyes were closed shut in distress. He tried to remember, half of it but couldn’t. He tried again but couldn’t even remember a word of phrase but for the word ‘Love’. He wished he buried himself on the spot; he was embarrassed with his on action, betrayed with his own memory, sad for what could have been. The applause was masking his panic. He tried to shout it out but she couldn’t hear him. She continued applauding and whistling out for her favorite band. She was glad and content with the fun she had; she was the happiest she was in a long time, and the idea of happiness wasn’t a daunting one anymore. Bastiaan felt his hands shiver and his lips parted to say those three words he feared would change everything between her and him. He couldn’t handle it anymore as he frantically pulled her by the arms and shouted out to her ‘I LOVE YOU’.