Musings of Lost Souls : Manar

It was the most horrid day of summer, the middle of July at 2 pm. Clear skies with no cloud in sight, along with a slight breeze calming to the high humidity suffocating every living thing’s breathing.  Mostly everyone was locked inside their air conditioned office rooms, houses or taking refuge under the roof of a  mosque or a shopping mall, with the exception of the South Asian foreigners who were resting under the shade of the trees escaping the awful heat. The cars were all nicely parked at the neighborhood as the whooshing sound of the desalination plant was the only sound disturbing the peace of the area.

She took a deep sigh as she parked her car right beside those familiar gates which now looked worn out and filled with holes and dents. They used to be grey once upon a time during the days she remembered. But as she looked at them they were white after being subjected to another quick paint job to hide the true age of the metal doors. The corners of her mouth arched as she smiled a smile of relief, it wasn't only her who hid her flaws and wounds, it was the norm for everyone to hide behind their sweet smile. She had to conceal the truth of what she really was behind her small charming eyes that cried many days and nights. She felt ashamed to show how fragile she could be so she chose to mask it all behind a kind heart which was shattered once upon a time. She looked at the quiet peaceful atmosphere as she pulled her hand break to place. Grabbing her bag and house keys that sat at the passenger seat, she decided to take on a different journey today.

It was time she faced what she dreaded she had to. The beautiful scenery was breathtaking despite the weather and what she was wearing; a fancy pleated abbaya paired with the brightest pair of flats adorning her feet. 'Bismellah' she started reciting a little prayer under her breath as she let loose, the first time since it all happened. It was her first time walking towards the beach, which she ignored all these years. It was time to let go and give in to what she deserved; to be safe and to be happy.

She walked past the yellow turmeric rusty swing as she re- lived the memories they once shared. The lovely breezy coastline weather paired with the clear sunny sky framed the most picturesque image of the place greeted her. She walked past the yellow turmeric rusty swing as she re- lived the memories they once shared. The lovely breezy coastline weather paired with the clear sunny sky framed the picturesque image of the place. The weather was pretty humid and sunny but she didn’t care for all that, she had a simple urge that she had to sustain. As one foot took her closer to the rough waves she sighed as the heaviness in her heart was subsiding. The warm toasty sand sent shivers down her spine as she now faced that turmeric swing. The same swing that was the beginning of everything once upon a time, she reached out her hand to touch the hot burning metal as the breeze begun to gain strength blowing her Sheila the opposite direction. The clear sunny sky gave her solace and wrapped ger in the warmth she most needed as she took a seat on the old squeaky swing. She took in the smell of the salty dry sand as her feet got buried beneath the coolness it gave off. Looking into her bag, she searched for what would the icing on the cake; a cherry flavored Chupa Chups lollipop.  She looked at the color and remembered how he always said he loved that shade of crimson on her lips. She giggled but it hurt her soul, she laughed but it tore her apart. She was saying goodbye to the past. She would miss the good times she had in front of her house, those secret meetings at the beach, his tasty chips oman and cheese spread sandwiches, his voice, his giggles, his laugh but most of all how he always whispered to her that one word that would turn her entire day into a pleasant sparkly one. How she wished she could hear that word from him once again. 'A7bk' she looked down at the sand as she said that softly and shed a single tear. She began swinging like she did years before, only this time she was alone with no one beside her. The air was blowing in her direction brushing past her, she giggled as she felt her tummy turn in excitement. Manar continued swinging the longest swing she ever did that day!