Musings of Lost Souls : Sama

She was walking up and down the hallway; all her close family members were watching her as she tried to deal with the shots of pain she was going through. She tried rocking her body as a sort of relief but failed. She tried squeezing pillows and teddy bears but for nothing to work. The only way was for her to walk back and forth until it all subsided. Cramps were overtaking her body as she felt she was about to throw up all the lunch she had. She closed her eyes shut as she gave in to the pain. Tears began stinging her eyes as she let out a loud scream. She wished he was here instead of all of those who were present. She needed him to take care of her and rub her back, but he wasn't anywhere to be found. She screamed out for his name but he didn't respond. She sobbed and screamed louder as the pain took over again and she was forced to lay in bed. She crawled herself into a fetal position as she cried herself to numbness while calling out for him.

'You are 10 centimeters dilated' the doctor came in to reassure her and her mother and mother-in-law who were with her. 'Now when I tell you to push, give me your best …' the doctor continued as she still was in a state of shock and denial. 'No no, this is not the time, tell them to wait' she told her mother. 'He must be coming any second' she was sure as she squeezed her mother’s hand. Looking and searching deep into her mother's black Bedouin eyes, she got the answer she was looking for; that he wasn't going to show up. She looked away to lay eyes on her full grown belly as her heart felt like a fragile crumbling biscuit.  At that moment she knew what she had to do, she knew it was time to gather all her strength for the sake of her baby. Nodding her head while sobbing she took in the doctor’s orders that it was time to push.

The white atmosphere around the very sanitary hospital would seem intimidating to anyone. Hospitals usually always had a feel that it was home to those who have lost hope. It was a place where dreams come to die, but in the maternity ward the word hospital meant where hope was born and where dreams come true.

Room 209 was no different than the others; it was a room that housed the newest mother. The sound of the baby cries was enough to bring smiles to everyone but her. She looked at her baby with pride and happiness but the tears she was crying weren't for her beautiful adorable son, they were for him, the king of her heart.

The tears were meant for the one who always made her smile whenever she was down; the one who was ready to face the world just for them to be together. The tears were for the one who made her whole and complete. She carried her baby in her arms. He looked perfect with his 10 fingers and 10 toes. His fingers were chubby and short, his nose was strikingly long and eagle-like, and he had the cutest flushed pink pursed lips exactly just like his father. She looked deep into her soul as she held her baby tight and said a name that silenced the festive mood in the air. 'Hamad' she said as she sniffed trying to muffle her sobs. I'm calling him 'Hamad' she said as everyone nodded in agreement.

'You shall share the name of a brave man, a man who you'd love if you met. This name means that you are praised and you always will be inshallah’ Sama whispered to her son as she took in his intoxicating smell and vowed to protect this precious life with her own. Little Hamad opened his tiny eyes and yawned stretching his petite small body. The cuteness of her newly born baby boy was something she wasn’t able to ignore. She couldn’t help but smile through the sadness that was looming around her soul. She gazed into his eyes which were small and almond shaped like hers, the eyes that her husband always wished his kids would have. ‘Hamoodi’ she whispered the nickname she bestowed on him. Sama grinned as she cuddled her baby, he was the only living thing left to remind her of her late husband. He was called Hamad.

Musings of Lost Souls : Manar

It was the most horrid day of summer, the middle of July at 2 pm. Clear skies with no cloud in sight, along with a slight breeze calming to the high humidity suffocating every living thing’s breathing.  Mostly everyone was locked inside their air conditioned office rooms, houses or taking refuge under the roof of a  mosque or a shopping mall, with the exception of the South Asian foreigners who were resting under the shade of the trees escaping the awful heat. The cars were all nicely parked at the neighborhood as the whooshing sound of the desalination plant was the only sound disturbing the peace of the area.

She took a deep sigh as she parked her car right beside those familiar gates which now looked worn out and filled with holes and dents. They used to be grey once upon a time during the days she remembered. But as she looked at them they were white after being subjected to another quick paint job to hide the true age of the metal doors. The corners of her mouth arched as she smiled a smile of relief, it wasn't only her who hid her flaws and wounds, it was the norm for everyone to hide behind their sweet smile. She had to conceal the truth of what she really was behind her small charming eyes that cried many days and nights. She felt ashamed to show how fragile she could be so she chose to mask it all behind a kind heart which was shattered once upon a time. She looked at the quiet peaceful atmosphere as she pulled her hand break to place. Grabbing her bag and house keys that sat at the passenger seat, she decided to take on a different journey today.

It was time she faced what she dreaded she had to. The beautiful scenery was breathtaking despite the weather and what she was wearing; a fancy pleated abbaya paired with the brightest pair of flats adorning her feet. 'Bismellah' she started reciting a little prayer under her breath as she let loose, the first time since it all happened. It was her first time walking towards the beach, which she ignored all these years. It was time to let go and give in to what she deserved; to be safe and to be happy.

She walked past the yellow turmeric rusty swing as she re- lived the memories they once shared. The lovely breezy coastline weather paired with the clear sunny sky framed the most picturesque image of the place greeted her. She walked past the yellow turmeric rusty swing as she re- lived the memories they once shared. The lovely breezy coastline weather paired with the clear sunny sky framed the picturesque image of the place. The weather was pretty humid and sunny but she didn’t care for all that, she had a simple urge that she had to sustain. As one foot took her closer to the rough waves she sighed as the heaviness in her heart was subsiding. The warm toasty sand sent shivers down her spine as she now faced that turmeric swing. The same swing that was the beginning of everything once upon a time, she reached out her hand to touch the hot burning metal as the breeze begun to gain strength blowing her Sheila the opposite direction. The clear sunny sky gave her solace and wrapped ger in the warmth she most needed as she took a seat on the old squeaky swing. She took in the smell of the salty dry sand as her feet got buried beneath the coolness it gave off. Looking into her bag, she searched for what would the icing on the cake; a cherry flavored Chupa Chups lollipop.  She looked at the color and remembered how he always said he loved that shade of crimson on her lips. She giggled but it hurt her soul, she laughed but it tore her apart. She was saying goodbye to the past. She would miss the good times she had in front of her house, those secret meetings at the beach, his tasty chips oman and cheese spread sandwiches, his voice, his giggles, his laugh but most of all how he always whispered to her that one word that would turn her entire day into a pleasant sparkly one. How she wished she could hear that word from him once again. 'A7bk' she looked down at the sand as she said that softly and shed a single tear. She began swinging like she did years before, only this time she was alone with no one beside her. The air was blowing in her direction brushing past her, she giggled as she felt her tummy turn in excitement. Manar continued swinging the longest swing she ever did that day!

A New Piece in The Works

Yayyyy! Finally I got the time to pen down my story line for the newest story on this growing doodles blog. 


So watch this spot sometime this week, a new story is coming your way! The title shall be revealed within time. Stay tuned!