No Matter What: Chapter Ten

Stretching her feet out of her blanket as she prepared to sleep, she couldn’t stop thinking about what Shihab asked her. 'So are you still in love with him?' started going through her mind. It was echoing in her ears. The truth was she still wasn't, the wound still felt fresh even though it has been years. He had already moved on while she still remained as the single Fajr everyone knew without any love interests. Her heart was still for reserved fro him. She still loved him though she knew that he might have forgotten about her completely. He was a respectable people’s person, the son every mother wished they had, a successful sports person and the perfect suitor. 'How could he think of me?' she asked herself as she thought about him. She stared at the ceiling as daydreamt of him and how his life must be; a happy lavish life.  She stared at the darkness for what seemed like eternity while her playlist changed to sad ballads. ‘Good night' she whispered to her heart like she did every night crying herself to sleep when they went their separate ways. That night, Fajr dreamt of him as she has done many often times before.

'Can't you stupid ladies see in front of you? Jesus Christ for once at least? For friggin’ ONCE?' he went on shouting and screaming at her. She was mortified by the whole issue and looking at him approaching her so close, she could feel his breath brushing over her oval face from how furious this chap in front of her was. She tried to speak up but she just couldn't. She tried to explain but he never gave her the chance. For once in her life, she felt overpowered and incapable of controlling the situation. She couldn't help but feel ashamed and embarrassed to the pits of her stomach. She couldn't help but burst into tears from how his loud speech, on how careless women are, got to her soul. She felt offended and regretted why she was born a female. She hated being Arab and what being a female entailed. She always accused society but now she couldn't help but accuse herself for her misfits.

'Careless drivers you are' he said as he his hand banged her car bonnet. Fajr crashed into the man's car at the roundabout as she was rushing her way to pick up her brother from work whom owned no car. He was still in the process of getting his own car since he recently came back to the country after long years of being abroad. Fajr didn't pay attention much as she got busy answering her brother's call who was hurrying her. Her brother had to reach the stables nearby because a camel was giving birth. Jawad, a university professor by morning dualled as the head veterinarian in the camels' hospital by noon. Tears were still rolling down from Fajr's eyes but the man was too angry to notice. He was too blinded by rage he failed to see those salty droplets finding their way down her cheeks away from the sunglasses adorning her now red teary eyes. 'Where did you get your license I wonder' he kept on yelling as he called for the traffic police. The cars were both in total damage due to the strong collision of Fajr's Lexus with his Mercedes. As he was reporting the incident to the police operation centre, he moved his eyes to look at her. He spotted her leaning herself to the side of her car as her arms shook vigorously. She started breaking down and crying loudly. He couldn't stand any woman's tears; it was his weakness. He couldn't help but find himself hanging up the phone and walk towards her to comfort her. 'Khalas it's my fault. I should have noticed you rushing but I didn't' his heart took control of his tongue and spoke. 'I'm so sorry, I'll pay for the damage I promise. I'm the defendant and you’re the plaintiff' he carried on. 'I'm so very sorry I hadn't meant to' he continued apologizing just to try to make her stop crying. Fajr astounded by what he said, was certain that she caused the crash. Unable to understand she grew silent; something about him made her calm down. His voice was reassuring and comforting. She removed her shades, wiping off her tears as she gave in to his begs and pleas for her to stop. Pulling out a white and green striped handkerchief from his candy white dishdasha's pocket, 'I'm sorry' he said as he handed it over to her.

... Everybody was kung-fu fighting …
…Those cats were fast as lightning …
… In fact it was a little bit frightening …
… But they fought with expert timing …

… They were funky China men from funky Chinatown …
… They were chopping them up and they were chopping them down ...

The song went on and on for a while then stopped. A few minutes later it went on again, this time it went on longer than before. Her ears were drowned deep by the sounds of loud cars and motorcycles driving off right next to her. She was deep asleep in her own world of fantasy while the phone kept on ringing. Fajr was known to be a heavy sleeper and not even a loud pop would wake her up no matter what the circumstances were. She rested her tired body and slept the entire night peacefully as she dreamt the same dream; the day they first met.

As morning came, the number of missed calls tolled up to 19 and her unread messages were too plenty to note down. Fajr was surprised at the numbers she saw on her phone screen as she stretched out of bed. Sitting by the side of her bed, she decided to go through the missed calls list only to find a strange number was the main source of all 19 calls. She frowned unable to understand but then jolted out of her bed thinking that it might have been Noor. Rushing through her text messages to see, she noted only one repeated message from the same number. Her phone fell to the floor as she froze and started to quiver. It was so unexpected for her to receive such a text. She couldn't believe what she read but managed to pick up her phone to read it again.

‘^{♪☻♫♥♪☻♫♥} Happy Birthday My ₣ajr ^{♪☻♫♥♪☻♫♥}

I Miss You

Love, Ta…'

She couldn't complete reading it. It was too hard for her to take in.

Knock knock…

Jawad's knuckles found their way to Fajr's door.

KNOCK KNOCK…

His knocks started picking up pace and becoming louder until she heard

SLAM SLAM… on her door.

'Can I come in? It's important' he said loudly through the door. 'Just a minute' Fajr told her brother as she shook off what happened from her head and opened the door, 'It's Noor. She's hospitalized' he told his baby sister. Fajr who was still in a state of shock, retreated and fell to the floor. ‘Are you okay?’ Jawad asked worryingly. ‘I’ll be ready in a minute' she got up hurriedly and started going around the room in circles not knowing what she was supposed to do. ‘I have to change’ then it hit her as she pushed Jawad out the door and closed it shut behind her. Fajr wore whatever her hands reached out for and left her room leaving her phone on the bed. It was still open on the birthday message that read…

‘^{♫♪☻♥♫♪☻♥} Happy Birthday My ₣ajr ^{♫♪☻♥♫♪☻♥}

I Miss You

Love, Taimur’