Ahlan Ramadan...

Just wanted to take this opportunity to wish you all a blessed holy month. Ramadan Mubarak my dear followers. Yen3ad 3aleena w 3aleekom jamee3an inshallah :L .

Musings of Lost Souls: Warda

She was driving back home after a long day at work. It was humid but cooler than it was in the morning. She smiled as she noticed the moon in a pale yellow tone centering the clear indigo sky. Sighing countless of times, she felt the stress leave her body and evaporate to thin air. The scenery wasn’t the only thing that uplifted her entire mood; Arabic poetry was filling her ears as she felt goose bumps forming on her arms. It was a different kind of feeling, something that made her recall what was important to her. She now understood the reason why Arabs are addicted to this form of literature; pure, sincere and yet filled with passion and unleashes a unique form of sentiments that she never knew existed. It was the perfect mix of words, view and mood that got her all relaxed and content.  She turned the knob to her left, allowing the volume to increase and surround her just exactly like those words recited by the famous poet were. She felt herself blush as she imagined him reciting those sensual and playful verses to her. She grinned wider as her tummy tumbled inside of her when she remembered that tomorrow was the day he’ll be back home. Taking in a deep breath to calm her anticipation,  she pulled over to the side of the road and was determined to end her nervousness buried deep inside her once and for all.

Calling The Love of My Life...

She heard his voice and couldn't help but squeal from her excitement

'7abibiiiiiiii I miss you' she said as she let go of the steering wheel.

He couldn't help but laugh at her reaction. He felt his heart growing mushier and softer ever since she entered his life ‘I miss you too sweetheart’ he replied back in a soft voice that resembled a whisper.

‘Only one day left' she giggled as she pushed her driver's seat to the back and had it recline to sit comfortably while talking to him; the one who stole her heart for keeps.

‘So excited for tomorrow?’ He asked as he lay on his tiny bed, relaxing to the tone of her soothing voice.

'I'm actually scared  and nervous also' she confessed as the swish swoosh sounds continued of cars and vehicles passing her by, and kept on wondering what his reply was going to be.

'I am as well a bit' he said as he stretched his body over the tiny bed. He looked tired after a long day at the oil rig. Wearing his blue coveralls as he got comfy on the fluffy mattress, he placed his right foot over the left and folded his hands behind his head without pulling out the earphone set from his ears.

It was the first time they would meet after three months of being away from each other. Fahar’s work was a tiring job that required tough labor from his side as a well engineer. His job required him to stay behind since his colleague quit the job for a better opportunity. But he was coming home the next day finally; his substitute showed up today which meant that he was free to visit home and see her face which he longed for. He still remembered how he added her on MSN, back in their college days, after catching a glimpse of her email address when she was using one of the computer labs that he coincidentally was in.

'Do you remember the first phone call?' she asked him as if she was reading his mind. 'How can I forget'  he said as they began remembering the old times ‘It was literally the longest phone call I ever had’ he laughed as they reminisced on cherished memories. 

…3 YEARS AGO…

'Can I hear your voice?' He must have typed that phrase reatedly only to use the backspace to erase it. But this time it was different, he pressed the Enter key instead. He asked her the question with eagerness to know what she would reply back. 

The MSN chat window popped up in front of her computer screen with the question she was dreading. They have exchanged phone numbers but have never used it but only for casual Blessed Friday text messages from time to time; the typical Arabic way of flirting and dating.

Her heart was beating fast unable to respond as fast as she hoped.

' Hey I'm sorry. I respect if you just want to remain friends here. So just forget I said that okay?' He typed quickly realizing that maybe what he just did was a mistake.

'But I want to know how you sound like as well' she typed back ten minutes later, in the most straight forward manner she knew how.

With happiness filling his being he responded with ‘Warda, so can I call you at 10 tonight?'

'Make it 9 ;-)' she replied back and began counting hte minutes for 9pm to strike on her watch.

…9 PM, 3 YEARS AGO…

Incoming Call 9900****

His hands were trembling as he gathered the courage to talk to her while waiting for her to pick up the phone.

‘Allo?’ she said in the most attractive voice she could pull off.

‘Ahleen’ he said as she heard his smile from the greeting.

‘Hala’ she said back while moving back and forth from apprehension and expectation.

‘Hi’ he said it before he had the chance to change to a proper sentence.

…HOURS LATER…

‘Hahaha that is the funniest thing I have ever heard’ she giggled and laughed hard at his funny encounters.

‘So what was the most embarrassing moment you went through as a freshman?‘ he asked wanting to know more about her.

‘Oh you don’t even want me to start’ she shook her head as she relaxed on her bed enjoying the conversation she was having with him.

That phone call was the one they have tried to challenge ever since. They stayed up till sunrise talking for hours about anything and everything until they both fell asleep with their phones glued to their ears. It was the beginning of what was something surreal to both of them; the beginning of something called love

Musings of Lost Souls: Bashayer

She was rocking in front of the window as she tried to comprehend what happened earlier in the day. The curtains drawn open and only the light of the street illuminating the room she was in. The living room which usually is the most chaotic room of the house was unusually quiet. The house was empty as she rocked herself even harder on the old rocking chair while remorse and regret filled her being. The room was beautifully decorated with antique pieces. The beige golden walls gave warmth even in the dark. The beautiful Persian carpet at the centre gave the room character and the mirrors on one of the walls deceived visitors on how big the room actually was. 'Why?' she kept wondering as she continued rocking.  'Why after all these years?' she asked herself as the self timed air conditioner turned itself on. It was simply just what she needed, cool chilly air to calm her senses down. She looked outside at the quiet neighborhood, not a single soul was outside, with only the swaying of the trees responding back to her questions. It seemed as if she had a conversation with these natural beings as every time she would ask herself a question they seemed to mask her worries and give a firm reply with an even stronger sway each time.  ‘Why?’ she asked this time ignoring the trees and looking at her feet stretched feet on the stool in front of her. She couldn't understand why she had to feel this way; it has been years since she last saw him, why must it always be like this? Why must she always fall to pieces whenever she laid her eyes on him?

Her sniffs and tears turned into sobs and loud cries as she grew angrier at herself. She was angry on how she allowed herself to be in this mess. She was angry at him for not ever confronting her. She was a train wreck without him. She closed her eyes allowing the cold air to console her frail self. She felt guilt creeping in further until there was no escape but to say the truth. But how could she speak the truth? How could she explain what she was going through her mind but keep herself composed? She sighed a deep sigh as she rocked the old green leathered chair even faster in hopes of all of this to go away.

A sudden clicking sound got her to freeze as she heard the keys unlocking the front door. Rushing as quickly as she could in the most subtle of moves, she tip toed to her bedroom, closed the door shut, then hid herself in between the sheets of her fluffy bed and closed her eyes as if she was asleep all along.

The footsteps she could hear were approaching her bedroom. A swish and the door got opened accompanied with the most seductive fragrance of oud mixed with Amouge’s Gold pour homme; her favorite scent of him.  '7abibtiiii I'm home' he said in a gleeful happy voice. In his full fancy policeman uniform he stood like a stud with a gleaming smile but only for his expression to change to a frown. He was taken by surprise when he laid eyes on his wife, all asleep instead of greeting him with the usual welcome home kiss and hug. 'Miskeena 7abibti' he shook his head as he looked at the bronze fancy clock on the wall and realized it was 3 in the morning.

Walking towards the right side of the bed, he took a long glance at the face he wakes up to every morning. He was content with life and its blessings. He loved how chocolate brown her skin was, he loved her curly brown hair, but mostly her cleft chin which he secretly wished their future kids would have. 'If you only know how thankful I am to have you. I love you my angel' he whispered to her sleeping frame and went forward to kiss her on the crown of her head.

She cringed as she felt his lips on her forehead. She felt disgust, pain and sadness instead of a jolt of electricity, love and desire. She was ashamed of herself but couldn't help what she felt inside; Bashayer felt was trapped in a life she didn't want.