No Matter What: Chapter Twenty Five (FINALE)

The doors opened, it was dark but for candles lit and a beautiful light at the end of the corner. As she moved one step forward the music started to play and the lights began to light up the red carpet. She moved slowly in all her glory, she smiled her widest smile while kicking her long dress forward. Adorned in a white princess cut ballroom gown decorated in beautiful pearls and rhinestones, she walked down gracefully. Paired with a simple long veil clipped under her hairdo of shiny dyed blond highlight streaks against her originally dark hair, she felt her heart palpating and her breathing racing against time. Her knees grew week unable to carry the studded white pumps she got as her gift from her best friend. She was nervous, excited and happy all at once; it was finally her day to call out to the world that they are a union. Everything seemed surreal to her as she walked to her seat up the stage. The stage that was simple and elegant carried their favorite colors, white and salmon; white being his favorite. With praise and supplication done for her from the onlookers, she proudly took her seat while gripping her flower bouquet of lovely white calla lilies. The guests took to the dance floor as Noor was absolutely stunning in her poise and wedding dress.

Fajr danced with Noor's in laws happy to share such a rare happy moment after the year of turmoil. She laughed and danced as she looked at her bestie, they shared everything together but now it was time for Noor to take her step down the road of marriage. Fajr shook her hips and danced amusing her friend as she winked at her that she’ll soon be doing it to seduce her hubby. 'Shihab is coming any second' Fajr was then told by Shihab’s sister. Heading up to the stage to kiss her friend her last kisses as an officially lonely woman she rushed outside the huge wooden doors of the ballroom to keep everything in check. After all, she was the bridesmaid.

Huge chandeliers and a spacious area she entered was filled with men in dishdashas and turbans. They were all getting to their places as they got ready to get in. Some more bukhoor burners were around as the men started motioning their hands to the smoke, they all had to smell good was what Fajr stressed. Different shades of white and salmon colored turbans started invading the place when about twenty close relatives of the groom got ready to get in. 'Someone looks gorgeous' a flirtatious whistle came from behind Fajr. She smiled and turned crimson red with shyness, she knew who it was and hoped she didn’t look like Marilyn Manson or Dracula for that matter. Raising up her phone so she could see her reflection, she gussied herself up then turned to him. She was still red from how bashful she was, 'please please don't blush, my heart can't take it anymore' he holds his chest imitating a heart attack. He looked fierce with his salmon turban and white dishdasha. His striking Arabic manly features were so obvious with his eagle sharp black eyes and his long nose and small lips. As she looked up to him, he could easily pass as a basketballer with that height and strong physique of his she thought as sheblushed even more. Fajr couldn’t help but hide her face. ‘Still shy 7abibti?’ he said, holding up her chin, in his heavy masculine voice only for shivers to go right through her spine. She smiled and gathered up the courage 'Hilal stop it will you?' she hits him lightly as she giggles. He laughs as his heart sinks knowing that he is falling for her more with each passing day, 'So can I call you later on?' he asked politely with his pair of big black innocent eyes. Fajr blushing nods her head and walks away blowing him a kiss.

'Yallah yallah, any minute now' Shihab's mother calls out for her sons to get in line. 'Who's pushing?' she asked as Hilal gestured that he would. And the wooden doors once again opened but this time all the lights were lit and the ladies were mostly in black abbayas after covering themselves up. 'Yallah Besmellah start moving Hilal' Shihab's mother told him. 'I'll do it on my own' Shihab pushed Hilal stopping him as he started moving forward. The music started and Noor smiled as she stood up looking at him coming towards her. She felt herself shiver from sheer excitement. He struggled to push the wheels as much as he could; he still wasn't used to the wheel chair he was on, it was new and specifically bought for the wedding. Approaching her, he felt warmth overtake his soul as he knew that she finally was his. Their eyes met, their hands drew close and their rings exchanged. He leant to her as they they were taking photos with family and friends and whispered to her while holding her hand tight: ‘No Matter What Noori, NO MATTER WHAT’.

No Matter What: Chapter Twenty Five (Prologue)

White, white and white. Everything around me is white, you know why? It's because my love to you is whiter than snow, pure, clear and transparent. I never doubted for a second that we'd lead our lives apart. I always had faith and belief that we shall be reunited. Coming from where I come from, the thought of ever being happy was a farfetched dream. Yet you made my dream come true. Caring, loveable, generous and a heart of gold is what you are. I Love You Shihab, no matter what.

I can’t believe the passing year. We made it, through it all. I once loved but never knew that love could conquer it all, I never knew because of love I would do the impossible just for you, just to be with you. We have gone through everything we could imagine and still fought for us. I don’t know if I should be thankful to have an angel like you in my life or if I should be thankful that I am alive to be with you. You are my everything, my soul mate and my heart. You remained by my side even though the life I am leading now is different than the one I lead before. You are remarkable that I can’t wait to see the stunning you striking me with your beauty. Here I am, waiting for the love of my life to fill the room with her presence. But before we exchange these diaries, I just have these last words to say. No matter what, I’ll Always Love You Noor.

No Matter What: Chapter Twenty Four

BEEP BEEP BEEP...

The phone vibrates jolting Fajr back to reality. 'Please tell me nothing's wrong' Noor asks Fajr hoping that the day will go on as planned. 'It's fine. Don't worry' she reassures Noor who looks stunning with her eye makeup done. 'Mashallah Mashallah, you look amazing darling' Fajr tells Noor as she places the burner and holds Noor’s hand reassuring her that everything will go as planned. Noor smiles at Fajr who has put on weight; her cheeks are chubby and round, she has a graceful smile with her now very short hair. Fajr had changed dramatically the past year, she’s been happier and living life to the fullest every single day. She has become the adventurer she always saw in her best friend. She’s been ever so smiling and glowing more than she has a year before when havoc ruled their lives. The makeup brush around her face disturbs her thoughts. ‘Smile’ she was told by Fajr as the blush got applied to her cheeks. Noor smiled a genuine happy smile and hoped one day Fajr would be as happy as how she felt. She squeezed Fajr’s hand to let her know that she was always there for her. Through thick and thin, through hardship, sorrow and happiness, Noor vowed in her heart to be her secret bearer, her crying shoulder and her best friend no matter what.

BEEP BEEP BEEP...

The phone vibrated again reminding Fajr she had messages to check. After making sure Noor looked flawless, she hugged her tight not letting her want to go ‘I’m so proud of you’ she told Noor then left the room to allow her to get dressed.  Coming out of the room, Fajr took a long look at herself at the mirror opposite her. A deep burgundy dress looked stunning on her, the fold in the middle of the dress accentuated her curves, the sheer fabric suited brought out the best of her features. With her glowing skin and breathtaking accessories she seemed set to conquer the world in her killer strappy silver pumps. Looking down at her phone, she remembered the text messages.

Two text messages received...

'So how would Ms. Fajr look like? Marlyn Manson or Dracula?' the first message read. She laughed out loud as she went ahead reading the next text message she received, 'Errrm I think you'd look as stunning as ever you are an angel in disguise, just don't take my heart away tonight'. She giggled and hugged her phone tight, something she hasn't done in so long. Looking herself at the mirror as she waited for Noor, she blew a kiss to herself. ‘I am as happy as happy can get’ she told herself. Her time has come she thought to herself, 'I'll forever be happy, no matter what'.

No Matter What: Chapter Twenty Three

Simple black and purple elegant and chic stencils decorated the simple ivory white wall. Two gigantic mirrors placed opposite each other made the room even wider and bigger than the tiny space that it was. The wooden floor matched perfectly with the door and the lightening was one that many would die for; a mix of ambient yellow light with the heavy bright lights secured on a specific corner. The ceiling was black and beautiful with the sparkly chandelier taking a huge space of the dark wall, she exhales getting out all that tension she felt. She couldn’t stop smiling to an extent she got scared her heart would jump out of its place from the happiness overcoming her. But then the nerves started taking its lawful place in the midst of it all; spreading throughout her limbs. She started shaking from how anxious she now felt; a bittersweet sensation that anyone would go through if they were put in her situation. Noor was seated on the recliner chair with her hair pulled upwards. It was time for her makeup which she didn’t know much about. ‘Fajr, 'I'll kill you if I turn out to be a cake’ she told Fajr who stood right next to her with an incense burner in her hand. ‘Don’t worry it will turn out to be as perfect as ever’ she winked at her nervous friend while moving around with her hand dispersing the smoke produced by the burning sweet bukhoor. The aroma of the room was uplifting and amazingly exhilarating. Taking the last deep breath, Noor inhaled as she left her face in the mercy of a stranger to beautify her. ‘Think corals, simple and beautiful’ Fajr told the makeup artist as she remembered how Taimur would always tell her how simple and beautiful her makeup and hair was. She smiled as she dazed into her own world; their last evening, their farewell and goodbye.

'And if I say yes?' she gulped her warm chai latte as she felt the pit of her stomach turn upside down. She knew she needed the closure, she needed to let go of that last thread that hung her to the past. She had to let go of him and sleep like everyone else; without him at the back of her mind, and without him causing her to tear. ‘I’d be the happiest man alive' he said as he put up a fake grin to assure her that all was well. He was determined to make it up to her, to what was lost; to what he never had the courage to face all these years. 'So shall we?' he asked as he opened the door to her car and took her by the hand.

It was a night that was unforgettable, a drive past what used to be their favorite place around town. Their favorite route when all they wanted was to escape everyone else. A road that had nothing but nature; you could see the sea on one side and the mountains on the other. Serene, peaceful and calm, just as how she always felt around him. He wished he could talk but he kept silent because no words would describe the many times they visited this path, nor would words describe the ‘I love you’s that once upon a time was exchanged, nor would words explain the magnitude of pain this road suffered from being alienated from both of them. All Fajr did was take it all in as her mind registered that it was finally the goodbye she wished for. Dinner was late night skewers of barbequed meat they both ever so loved. Sitting by the edge of the highway as she got startled by the view of the moon, she swayed to the left to land in his arms. Hugging him tight she closed her eyes shut waiting for a miracle to happen, hoping that all her pain would go away, she prayed for this to be a dream. She prayed that the past five years were just an April fool's joke or a prank that was played on her. She sat still and prayed while her meat skewer got cold. Opening her eyes, she still saw herself there at the edge with her feet dangling in the air while overseeing the breathtaking view of the moon and beach. Looking into her eyes, he could see her pain, 'I so wish it was a dream too but it isn't' he said as he brushed his hand on her cheek. Fajr gathered her strength to speak and never cared if she were to sob; she had to let it out. 'You hurt me to my core. My whole world stopped then. Was it me? Did they hate me? I could have done anything. Why? Why didn't you choose me?' she faced him as she snuffled for air. 'What did I do that was so bad for you not to fight for me? What did I do for you not to even tell me the reason?' she continued as anger shot into her veins and her voice grew louder 'Why? Why? Why? I loved you with all my heart' Fajr grabbed him by his shirt demanding an answer when all Taimur gave her was an ashamed face and a kiss on her forehead as he drew her closer to him that they were a breath apart.

'I didn't know how to face you. My family never wanted to hear my opinion about it. I tried pushing it so hard but they refused just because you were from a family we don’t marry into' he said holding on to her hands that were on his collar. 'I was looking out for you, even if I fought my family to be with you they would always treat you bad. They would have made your life miserable' Fajr shocked from his revelation remained silent as she made sense of what he was saying. 'I've hated my life every single day for falling for you when I knew nothing would have worked out. I swear I tried everything possible until I came to terms that it was for the best. I want you to live your life Fajr. I want you to enjoy it because you deserve it the most. I am awful, bad and selfish for doing this to you. You don’t deserve that, you don’t deserve me. You ...' he paused as he got choked up for words. 'You are a gem that deserves to be appreciated and cherished. I am here to make up for the awful cliffhanger, I am here to tell you that life is there to be enjoyed, it's a one way ticket so make the most out of it' he said as his voice lowered. He knew that it was time for him to let go of her as well. It was the only way she would move on. His heart started to race as his breathing became shallower; he felt a hard sharp pain in his heart, he was about to collapse and shut the world out to simply remain with her, but if only time could stay still. ‘I love you and I was blessed to have you in my life’ he said as he tried as hard as he could to be strong for her. ‘You shouldn’t break not now’ Taimur told himself as he took a deep breath and continued ‘You were my picture perfect image of the one I wanted to be my wife, my truth that I came to find. I love you, and will always and forever be thankful that you were a part of my life.’ He then paused as he took a look into those eyes for the very last time. They stayed there bidding farewell to each other through silence.

The cars along the road would sweep off dust and blow it at them but they never cared for it was the last goodbye. Then Taimur abruptly let go off Fajr’s arms to search for something in his pockets. Taking out his wallet, he pulled out something that made him smile. 'Remember this?' he asked her as he laughed lightly. She smiled as she took a look what he had in his hand; it was a replica of the business card he gave her the day their cars crashed into each other, the day their fates were sealed into each other. He sighed as he stole a kiss on the cheek and whispered ‘I’ll miss you’ in her ear as he took a sniff of her lavender hair then held her tight. With Fajr resting her head on his chest and her body held between his arms, Taimur went off tearing the card into tiny pieces. He reached out to her hand and whispered 'here, take this’ as he sheltered her body while she cried loudly with her hand gripping the pieces of the torn card. 'Taimur doesn't exist anymore', he tilted her hand for the pieces to flutter and fly off with the wind 'no more' he whispered as he hugged her one last hug as the love of his life.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

The phone vibrates jolting Fajr back to reality. 

No Matter What: Chapter Twenty Two

‘Mabrook alf alf mabrook’ she goes ahead and hugs her tight. 'Do you mind? I am writing here' she tells her off. Giggling and having a fun time teasing her, she apologizes 'Okay okay I'm sorry, but I can’t help it'.

Love has been the most constant thing in my life. Your love has been the light that led the dark dodgy path, which knew no radiance or pleasure. Your love was the most cherished possession which I called my own. You have been my savior, my guardian, my angel, my past and my present. The meaning of affection, I once joked around and laughed at has eventually found its way to my core and I am thankful. Grateful for what I have and what will always be mine. The time has come when I tell the world that you are mine, the apple of my eye and my all. Shaking from the tense feeling that I am going through; I am nervous and scared of not knowing the future but I know it is worth it all; for you, for our love, for us.

She wrote as the sounds of annoying blow-dryers, women chattering and the casual music seeping through out the gap Fajr left on the door. 'Do you mind shutting the door close?' Noor spoke out loudly so Fajr could hear her. As Fajr headed towards the cherry wooden door, she took a deep breath while grasping the handle and closed the door shut as she closed down the chapter of their lives together.

CLICK… CLICK…

She locked the wooden rectangle in front of her and took a look at her friend who was now bright and beaming, not as pale, frail and in agnoy as she used to be; a friend who she was thankful she didn't have to go through what she had in the name of love. A hint of jealousy mixed with her ever so pure feelings of happiness. She envied what she got out of life, men who would do anything to fight for her. Not only did she envy her for Shihab but she was even lucky to have a man like Hilal who sacrificed himself being cut out off his family just so that he could afford to provide Noor with the happy life she ever so deserved. She so wished she had led her life now. She envied her when Hilal donated his blood to save her soul mate. She wished she had the one who would be prepared to fight for her. One who would start a war just to win her heart and love. The one who would go through the impossible to secure that one thing she craved for; a happy family. 'Fajr will you marry me?' his voice started to repeat in her head. 

She stopped next to his car, like they did many times before. She paused for a moment reminiscing over the memories where she would find him rolling down his window and putting up a cheesy grin prepared to be wowed by her sense of style. She smiled a painful smile looking out to see an empty driver's seat behind her black tinted window. She knew what she had to do as she looked at herself in the mirror straightening and twirling those rebellious curls of hers. She was looking at an older image of hers with dark eyed circles the concealer failed to cover, small wrinkles creeping out of her eyes from all the crying she did. She looked deeper for her to stop at the frame she sees at the mirror; it was him, waiting for her with the signature cheesy grin of his. 'If he only knows' she said to herself as she stepped out of the car approaching him. '7abibti' he shrieked out as he hugged her ever so tight. She wanted to fight him off but his scent and touch overpowered her to accept it. She missed everything about him from his eyes to his husky deep voice to his heartbeats. She closed her eyes shut as she rested in between his arms as the high waves slapped into each other in such harmony it appeases those who listen to them. She looks up as she breaks his hug and stares at him with his clean shave goatee and trimmed moustache. She looks at the face that she used to stare at only it was a different face. His face has aged as much as hers did; he looked older than his real age. Taimur had white hairs peeping through his hair, his side burns have also turned grey. He had wrinkles on his forehead from the constant thinking that controlled his life the past five years. His eyes were puffy, tired and yellow; Taimur wasn't the same vibrant jolly guy she knew. He changed, he was different. 

They remained in silence for what seemed for eternity as they walked down to the beach with their jeans rolled up to their knees. Taimur knew that he had to talk; he had to explain himself as to why it never happened. He had to tell her that she was in his mind all these years; that he has always imagined Tahani to be her, that's how he managed to cope with what his father destined for him. He had to speak or else he would lose her again, which he couldn't afford. He wanted her in his life like he always dreamt of whenever his eyes would close shut. He cleared his throat as he felt every inch of him shiver from the fear of what he might say. He turned to face her as he reached out to touch her chin; he was prepared and ready to spill it out for her. 'Fajr' he started to speak though he knew nothing would bring the past back, he struggled and continued 'Fajr, will you…' She turned to him as she listened to what he wanted to say. 'Fajr will you marry me?', staggered at what he just said, he wanted to speak out that it wasn’t what he meant to say but for nothing to come out of his mouth. He couldn’t produce a sound because deep down that was what he wanted to say. ‘Please say yes’ he started praying that she would agree.  

Fajr stayed there in shock. Those were the words she wanted to hear all this time; the words she always dreamt of coming from his deep husky voice. Fajr felt as if a thousand daggers got stabbed into her heart at once. Her heart was bleeding from the pain of irony, that even though it was her dream come true, it was painful. She wanted to share the rest of her life with him; her Tay, her soul mate but her dignity wouldn't allow it. She burst out laughing loud baffling even Taimur who expected a shriek and hug for his proposal or a punch on how he would dare such a thing. But soon those laughs turned into anger, sadness and tears, Fajr started sobbing uncontrollably leaving Taimur with nothing to do but hug her. She cried until she fell asleep in between his arms. With the cold breeze blowing her lovely scent to where Taimur could smell it, he started to reminisce as he held her tight. Her lavender aroma reminded him of their history of who they were, of who she was which made him quiver. Taimur remembered Fajr and how she used to be; independent eloquent and most of all strong but now all he could see was a crushed and wounded soul. He remembered how she refused to let him see her tears but now she was in his arms because of those same tears. A snuffle he took when a tear crawled down his cheek.  It dawned on him that she didn’t deserve this. Taimur realized that all she ever wanted was closure, which she never had.

Waking up she found herself alone in a car. She fretted for a second trying to figure out what happened only for a man to knock her window with a cup of warm steamy tea in his hand. She couldn't figure out who it was until she noted that it was Taimur. Rolling down her window, ‘Chai Latte your favorite' he handed it to her. Drinking it she smiled 'I forgot how thoughtful you were'. He smiled an aching grin while his eyes were locked at her. Clearing his throat he was getting ill from the mere thought of what he was going to say. His knees started shaking, tremors overtook the function of his hands and voice, he was calling out her name ‘Fffff-aaa-jjj-rr. Oh how it feels when I call your name, I’ll miss that’ he said as he leaned over her window and stroked her soft curls. ‘I know I have hurt you more than you can imagine and I know I was such a coward to not even confront you about it then. I was young and a fool. So to make it up to you can I have this evening with you and have our chapter’s ending a happy one?’

'Fajr hurry hurry' she called out for her as Fajr was leaning on the door she locked up. 

No Matter What: Chapter Twenty One

She fell asleep as her hand held firmly to hers. She was grateful that she was alive but wasn't sure how she would wake up after the sedatives administered to her. It was chaotic after Noor came to senses with what Hilal about Shihab. Fajr knew how she would be feeling; in shambles, broken and blaming herself for everything. Should she leave her to go check up on him? 'She's asleep anyway, she wouldn't be awake for another few hours' she convinced herself as she planted a kiss on Noor's forehead while tucking the blanket covering her to her sides. He was outside regretting every single thing he did until he saw the door's gap widening for Fajr to leave the room. 'Fajr' he called out with need, he felt helpless like an outcast treated with disgust. But the loathing he had for himself surpassed any feelings of abhorrence a person would have for him. Her curly locks flew in the air in a swift response to his calling. She looked back to see him almost senile unable to get a grip of what he did. With his bloodshot eyes drenched with tears strolling down his cheeks, mucus escaping out of his nostrils travelling down to his upper lip, he started shivering as he gestured with his hands 'Tell me what should I do?'. Fajr's image of Hilal changed as she tried calming him down; he wasn’t the evil masculine racist typical Arab. He was as broken and kind hearted as any other person. 'What you did wasn't wrong, she had to know' she said grabbing his hand, walking him out of the corridors to the open spaces with benches. 'Noor always mattered to me, I'll do what it takes Fajr. I swear to you'. Fajr smiled as she saw genuine sincerity Hilal had hidden behind his tough and sly exterior. 'Come with me.' she said leading him to the car with her.

The cold breeze blew into his hair, refreshing and minty as it traveled right down to his scalp. He fiddled with his keys as he locked his car walking towards that beautiful shore that was part of his past. Removing his sandals, his feet touched that coarse particles of sand, it reminded him of the happy times they spent, the tans they got, the salty water they tasted as they swam. It reminded him of everything that was ever so sweet. Looking into his phone he read the message again and was certain it wasn't a dream. 'She still loves me regardless of everything' he talked to the wind that once consoled him when he most needed it. Taking in a deep breath he decided to do a step he hasn't done in so long.

Fajr Dialing…

Fajr Dialing…

Fajr Dialing…

'Hello?'

No Matter What: Chapter Twenty

Cold still air, silence as remorse and guilt crept into him, he stood speechless unable to utter a word. Looking into his eyes with tears blurring his face in front of her, she sharply turns her head away. She felt sick and disgusted by just looking at him. With her mouth shut trying to curb her cries she only wished for the one in front of her to morph into the one she was eager to see and hear from; the one who would touch her face gently and place a kiss on her forehead. The one who would take her into his arms and whisper that everything will be alright. She wished that Shihab was in Hilal’s place; right in front of her, beside her hospital bed. ‘You…’ she struggled to speak. ‘You brought me here?’ she asked as hatred and anger traveled through her pale body and bloodshot eyes.

‘How could you do this to your family? You brought us disgrace and dishonor’ he told her as his tears were streaming down her face while holding a firm crushing grip around her arm. ‘Let me go’ she pleaded as she tried to use her petite body to shove him away only he couldn’t. ‘Such a despicable act, how dare you do that to us and to top it off you went on with a worthless bastard?’ he vented out all his anger as he gripped her other arm tight. ‘You were my daughter but now you are dead to me. You brought us shame, how do you expect us to face everyone? How do we face our tribe?’ her father said in a very angry loud voice as he hyperventilated and pushed her frail small frame to the wall. ‘It’s not his fault he has no family’ she screamed out as she felt the first of the series of punches and slaps which started. She felt she had to defend herself and Shihab. She felt she had to speak out since keeping quiet and agreeing to all her family’s decision did her no good; it was time for curbing no more. Noor stood up against her father and fought him off as strong as she could only to be subjected to more pain and hurt. ‘You have the nerve to reply back to me?’ her father fixed his hand over her neck. ‘You have the nerve to disrespect and shout at me? ’ she coughed as she tried gasping for air while shutting her eyes not wanting to look at the monster facing her. ‘I love him’ she chocked the words out. ‘He’s my husband’ she struggled speaking. Her father got shocked as he let go of her while she backed away in quick steps until she tumbled over the stool behind her. ‘Your husband?’ he asked not believing what he has heard. ‘Hilal didn’t tell me this’ he yelled as he walked out of the sabla slamming the door behind him, when she realized that Hilal was the one who ruined what was the perfect ending. Hilal was the one who just killed off her hope of ever living normal.

He drives off with a smile on his face as he takes a deep sigh. He is happy and ecstatic. Unable to believe what just happened today, he picks up his phone and unlocks it to take a glimpse at the breath of fresh air he has been craving for all these years. ‘I miss you too’ he reads it out loud as he feels a rush overcoming his senses. ‘I MISS YOU TOO’ he screams it out as he giggles unstoppably like a small kid. He shrieks as he starts speeding up, feeling his heartbeats increasing its pace. He hasn’t felt this way in a very long time that he forgot a person could be this joyful in his lifetime. Reaching home at the driveway, he hopped out of his car with his house keys in his hands but then smiled and went back to his car. He had a better idea; he wanted to do something he hasn’t done in a very long time. He wanted to go back to the beach where it all started and all ended. More memories needed to be in the place of the sadness that remains soaked in the golden sands, it needs to be washed off for a clean new start.

No Matter What: Chapter Nineteen

‘Nurse nurse, she’s awake’ Hilal rushed to the corridor calling out.

Fajr smiled for the first time in a long time as she saw her friend’s tired eyes open. Brushing her brittle weak fine hair she kissed her cheeks ‘7amdillah 3al salamah love’ she said as Noor gripped her wrist to not go anywhere. Her pale yellow face that was washed out of blood made Fajr want to cry. She knew what Noor’s eyes were searching for and what she wanted to ask about. She felt the pit of her stomach turning as she took a deep breath and told her, ‘He’s fine. So long as you get better and try not to leave us again that is’.  Masking her ever growing concern with a fake smile, she calmed Noor’s senses down as she loosened her grip and felt relieved.

They rushed to the ER in panic looking around in hopes they would find him along with the policemen who were waiting to walk them in. ‘Excuse me, Shihab my brother. He was involved in a car accident and we were told that he was admitted here by his friend. Is he okay?’ His entire immediate family arrived worryingly as they rushed into the sliding doors to the cold hospital ward.  Shihab was finally stabilized and had broken a few ribs but was now in need of blood as he had lost a lot during the accident. ‘It seems that he may need some blood, his blood is a very rare type and we need one of you' the doctor said. With all his siblings turning to each other knowing that they won’t be able to help, they remained silent but for the loud cries of their mother, and then she spoke ‘But doctor none of us match his blood group’. Surprised at the confession, the doctor raising one eyebrow asked ‘Aren’t you all siblings? We’ll do some testing and see who matches his ’. Fearing the painful outcome, they all decided to stay quiet until ‘Doctor he isn’t really my son. With everyone in the room looking at them, his sister broke down to tears knowing she has failed Shihab just like the time when he fell off his bike and started to bleed as a youngster. Exactly like the time she lost the grip of his hand as he collapsed on the soapy floor as a teenager and right about the time where he found out that the family he thought were his flesh and blood weren’t but two young couple who took him in and raised him as one of their own.

It was pitch black as they drove back home. Chuckles mixed with the oud playing at the background as they looked each other in the eye hand in hand. He was driving slower as they approached familiar territory; their newly built house. Anticipating the smell of freshly painted walls mixed with the scent of frankincense, they got even more excited to get home and surrender into each other’s hugs and snuggles. He stops abruptly as he reaches the driveway ‘Sorry darling, I was mesmerized by your presence that I was about to miss our house’ he smiled and reached out for her hand to kiss. Stepping out of the car to open the gates wide open, he took a deep breath of the misty allure in the air and blew her a flying kiss as he rushed to open the gates until a sound pierced his ears and punched his heart. He thought he was imagining for a second but then he heard it again and again. The sound kept on repeating until he couldn’t take it anymore and headed out to search for it. She sat at the passenger seat and noticed he wasn’t heading towards the car. She followed him with her eyes to see him headed to the dumpster. He reached out his hands in between the smelly trash to pick up a nude thin almost skeleton like baby in his arms.  ‘Oh my god, it’s a baby’ she screamed out as she ran with her 70s platforms towards her husband. Covering the baby with shawl wrapped around her, she took him into her arms and said to the now quiet baby in her arms ‘Aren’t you just the cutest thing ever? How can anyone throw something so precious’ She nuzzled him and looked into her hubby’s eyes, he was angry, and fuming ‘How dare someone do this to a living soul?’. ‘Let’s get inside, it’s too chilly for him’ she urged him as they headed home as three members after they were two. Shihab from that day onwards remained the apple of their eye.

'We’ve been through this before and no one turned out to be a match to his blood group’ she continued as she gasped for air trying to stop her hiccups.  Shihab now laid in the mercy of a donor who matched his type specific blood.  Shihab’s condition just became critical.