No Matter What: Chapter Eighteen

Fajr calling…

His phone was still intact minus the scratches and cracks it endured. Reaching out for the phone that was in the accident scene,

‘Hello’

‘Who is this?’

‘You called Ma’am, who is speaking?’

‘I am calling Shihab who is this?’

‘Are you family?’

‘Who are you?’

‘Ma’am the owner of this phone got into a car accident and is on his way to the hospital’

Her heart paused as her voice went silent. She was in shock at the turn of events. She started blaming herself for what happened to him.‘Oh My God, it’s my fault.’She started sobbing uncontrollably as the phone was still held with her now shaking hand on her ear.

‘I suggest you come by to the … hospital’

‘I…’

‘It would be better if you came with another member of his family’

All the food she gulped and pints of water she drank were reaching their way outwards. She rushed to grab the nearest plastic bag. She felt sick and queasy; she couldn’t handle the situation she was put in. Not only did she have to worry about her suicidal friend, now there was a chance that she caused her friend trauma that would last a lifetime. She would lose her love forever. She didn’t know what to do but to roam about the sanitized room in circles afraid to disclose what she knew about Shihab to anyone.  Grabbing her phone and keys from the bag, she finally decided to drive on the other side of town to the hospital Shihab was transported but for her to get stopped. Her eyes popped out of their socket as she felt a light grip on her arm. Fajr felt her world collapsing.

Lifeless, stationary and unresponsive he lays. They have worked on him to their utmost best. With quick thinking and even quicker reflexes, the doctors had to think of what to do to prevent what they feared of. ‘Pulse is lowering to 90’, the head nurse called as the ER doctor quickly gave out orders of increasing the meds prescribed.

Beep beep beep...

Her pager went off. Waking up and jolting from the vibration and loud sound, she frowned as she saw the page. It was the hospital. She hated being on-call. She hated her life as an ER doctor; a choice she regrets taking now that she is a married woman. Rubbing her eyes as they rolled back into focus, she felt tired and overwhelmed. With her feet pushing and shoving off the quilt covering her, she started getting up the normal way she always would, by elevating her upper body with her hands on the bed pushing herself forward. An excruciating pain that made her scream made her collapse. She applied pressure on her side where it hurt. Looking at her side, she caught a glimpse of her tummy, bloated and like an inflated hot air balloon, she smiled as she placed her other hand rubbing over it. ‘I’m sorry mummy had to be such a clumsy head’ she talked to her unborn child who suddenly moved to the sound of her voice.

‘Honey, are you okay?’ he rushed after hearing her scream. ‘Yes I am Tay’ as she laughed pointing to her side. He laughed as he shook his head and told her off for not being careful. ‘Tahani I’ll kill you if the kid ends up deformed or dead because of this’ he lectured her as he laughed.  She smiled like a beacon seeing that her hubby was in a good mood today. He wasn’t his grumpy self who usually never smiles at her much. He wasn’t the angry man she married who would prefer going out with his friends than spend time with her. He wasn’t her husband who had sad puppy eyes every time he looks at the beach in front of them with tears stinging and glistening his eyes. He wasn’t the same Tay who when he watched TV or had dinner with would daydream to another world and smile with an imaginary friend instead of her.  She felt happy for once in the seven months since she heard the news that she was pregnant.  ‘I love you’ she blurted the words out hoping he would reply back to her this time with as much love and passion as she has. ‘I love you too um 3eyali’ he said as he kissed her on the forehead. Tahani couldn’t help but hug him tight at that moment. It was the moment she was waiting for all this time.

‘Oh my god he said it for real this time' she was thinking as she hugged him tighter.  ‘Now everything is going to be okay. Now after five years he called me a name other then my own. Tahani everything is perfect. life is worthwhile finally. He loves me, he really does’. She assured herself as her smile showed her perfect set of pearly whites and her hug tightening him to her even more.

He sniffed her hair only for him to be jotted back to reality. She wasn’t the imaginary Fajr in his mind; it was Tahani, his wife.  ‘How can I tell her and break it to her that she’s not the one. She never had my heart. How can I tell her that my heart is for someone else? How can I tell her that I meant the I love you for someone else? How can I tell her that I imagined her to be someone else who misses me and loves me still? How can I…’

Beep Beep Beep…

The pager went off again pulling their thoughts back to veracity.  They let each other go only she didn’t want for that moment to fade. She wanted to live in that hug forever. ‘Yallah get ready for work, I’ll drop you’ he told her as he left the room. He was back to his cold self again she realized as she picked herself up from the bed end to change.